The ugly baby and the troll

So bless I found a picture of myself last night when I was about 2. I actually found this picture in my mother’s wallet. Of course I was going through my mother’s wallet in the hope to find a picture of myself.  I was such a cute baby/toddler. Yes, I know how that sounds but I really was though. Let’s be honest there is nothing worse than an ugly baby. Although they are comical. Like, there’s so much contradiction with them. Like Trolls. Does anyone remember Trolls? The dolls, not the actual fantastical woodland creatures. They’re ugly, but still really cute. But there is a big difference between cute cute, and ugly cute.  It’s like, the ‘wanting to kiss them on the nose’ cute versus the ‘I hope that face doesn’t appear in my nightmare later’ cute.

I once saw an ugly baby and I actually jumped back, and in my mind I thought, ‘woah, that’s an ugly baby.’ Of course I didn’t say it, out loud. I also think that parents of ugly babies actually DO know when their baby is ugly. I think they’re just testing you to see your reaction. It’s cruel really. Not cruel to the ugly baby in question, but to you. Because you have to do the whole, ‘ah bless what a cute baby’ thing when really you‘re thinking, ‘oh my god that’s such an ugly baby.’

One of my best friends was a really ugly baby. He himself says, ‘I was such an ugly baby I looked like a little monkey.’ Which he did. I have nothing against monkeys, but he looked like a baby monkey. But he’s really hot now though so, one needn’t worry, there is hope for ugly babies.

I might regret this post one day. Like, if I ever have children I’m probably going to have an ugly baby. Karma and all that. However, on the bright side, I would enjoy testing people’s reactions though.


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